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The Museum of Vestigial Desire


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Darkness is in our heart. We are so dark that we have the potential to become black holes and such everything in. But this does not happen because we are distracted. We do not immerse ourselves fully in our own darkness. We are only casually related to ourselves. Because of the casual nature of this entanglement, sometimes we figure what is going on inside us and sometimes we do not. Every aspect of culture and sophistication essentially attempts to cloak our darkness. Society places us into a thick web of stories and the stories in turn have their own sentiment. We remain confounded, we do not know if we should stay with the sentiment that our story has led us to or if we should disbelieve in the story and probe deeper.

Pursuing an imaginary depth yields nothing. Darkness does not reside behind the story, it resides besides the story. Darkness and the tangle of make-believe that we live in co-exist in the same envelope of experience that we live in. This co-existence makes us think that it is our choice how we want to look at the scene. It makes us believe in the possibility of positive thinking and optimism. Optimism is only a drug. Sure it can pacify you, but so can so many other things. To balance a dark heart, we need not assume a mode that does not really care. An uncaring face held up as a mirror to the darkness of our heart is an effective countermeasure. A lack of concern betrays an ability of being a sharp and attentive warrior. Sharp warriors always inspire fear because they have the ability of tackling darkness at the source. Darkness stays in check, it hides behind the equanimity of the face.

Positivity is weak. It is afraid of being infected by the darkness. This weakness is in turn used in the conflict by the darkness to entrap and eventually win the conflict. When darkness wins, desolation takes over and extinguishes hope. Only the chance operation of grace has a chance to revive the scene anymore. And the timeline of grace is not predictable. Grace is a cosmic force. Outside theological frameworks grace is called good luck operating as a chance principle. For grace to act, equally mysterious practices like prayer need to take place. How prayer works is neither known nor understood especially when actors pray for each other. How does an actor's prayer affect the script? Will anything ever change because of prayer?

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